25 New Year’s Resolutions

Without even thinking about it, 2014 has just about slipped by. It’s been a pretty eventful year. Between new jobs, popping out a baby, and new writing projects I’ve hardly thought about what 2015 will bring. So here’s a list of all of the things I probably won’t do…

1. Eat Kale
2. Like Kale
3. Read many nutritional pamphlets
4. Smile at small dogs in coats
5. Disagree (loudly, vehemently) with strangers about the weather
6. Listen to books on tape (what is this? the 1980’s?)
7. Grow a lady-mustache
8. Interpretive dance my way down the sidewalk
9. Grow a mullet

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10. Be more accepting of loud breathers
11. Mimic loud breathers less
12. Stand in health section of book stores with a box of 12 donuts
13. Chew louder than others at food court
14. Sneeze competitively
15. Train an ant circus
16. Speak in iambic pentameter on Shakespeare’s birthday
17. Correct pronunciation of supervisor
18. Find the cure for baby brain
19. Write a 7000 word dissertation on Dr. Seuss
20. Buy a donkey
21. hyperventilate when asked to make a donation at the checkout line
22. Floss the cat’s teeth
23. Eat only purple food.
24. Sleep. HAH!

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25. Write list of resolutions.

See you all in 2015!

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